Returning to work after welcoming a child into your family can be a complex and emotional experience. Whether you're going back full-time or part-time, spending time away from your baby can feel difficult, even if you love your job.

Step 1: Recognize the Challenges of Returning to Work

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, at least 12 weeks of parental leave is recommended for parents to adjust to their new reality after birth. However, this isn't the reality for many mothers, and maternity, paternity, and paid leave is still rare in the United States. Most parents return to work much sooner after parental leave. These factors, combined with the emotional challenges of leaving your child, can make the transition back to work particularly difficult.

You may still be recovering from labor – mentally and physically. Your or your child may have ongoing health concerns. You and your partner may be adjusting to life with a newborn. Other children may be dealing with the feelings and new routines that come with introducing a new family member.

It’s not easy to go back to work after what is truly a life changing experience – both for you and the people closest to you. Give yourself grace, prioritize your health, and remember that you are doing your absolute best to adjust to a major shift in your life.

Step 2: Find a Caregiver You Trust

One of the most important steps in preparing for your return to work is finding a caregiver you completely trust. Whether you're choosing family, friends, or a professional, having someone you feel confident leaving your baby with can alleviate a significant amount of stress and anxiety.

For step-by-step guidance on preparing, searching for, and interviewing a childcare provider for your baby, read our blog post, “Choosing a Caregiver for Your Child.”

Step 3: Address Guilt

It's completely natural to feel guilty about leaving your baby. However, it's important to remember that you're being the best parent you can be by creating a great life for your family. Whatever your reason for returning to work – whether you need to work to support your family, you love your job, or you’re working towards a career goal – know that this choice is necessary and valid. Ultimately, you are setting a good example for your children.

Consider choosing an affirmation that you can say to yourself if you experience the dreaded “mom guilt.” Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• I am doing my best with the options and opportunities I have in my life.
• I am a good, caring, and loving mom.
• I am grateful for my children and for my work.
• I am setting a good example for my child.
• I am giving myself the grace I would afford to another mother.
• I am teaching my child important life lessons.
• I deserve to feel fulfilled and capable in my career.

There are many parents sharing their feelings around guilt and parenthood on social media. This can be helpful, as shared experiences create a sense of solidarity and community. Know that you’re not alone. However, if too much exposure to this type of messaging is not helping you, you might want to snooze or unfollow certain creators, or find others whose tones resonate more with you.

If you do not experience this type of guilt, that’s wonderful! There is no one right way to feel because each parent’s experience is different.

Step 4: Do What You Can to Focus at Work

Returning to work after a long period of absence can be overwhelming. Take it slow and recognize that you went through a major life event, and you wouldn’t expect anyone else in your shoes to do their work entirely perfectly. Not only might you have several weeks or months of emails and other tasks to catch up on, but you may experience forgetfulness due to lack of sleep. 

1. Focus on one task at a time and one day at a time.
2. Work with your supervisor to create a plan that details what your first three months back at work will look like.
3. Communicate clearly with your colleagues about the status of your tasks.
4. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

Remember, your brain has literally formed new neural pathways to help your baby survive. You are allowed to have time to adjust back to work.

Step 5: Find Ways to Meaningfully Connect with Your Baby After Work

Make a shortlist of activities that you can do to reconnect with your baby after you get home. This could include reading, playing games, or simply spending quality time together. This time to connect is just as important for you as it is for your baby because a change in family routine can bring up separation anxiety for everyone.

After work, you might be feeling tired. You can use Happy Little People™ Toddler and Baby Activity Cards to simplify your evenings with your baby. These cards are easy to use, especially if you’re running on low energy after work. Choose an activity, set up in no time using everyday items from around your home, and play with the time you have together.

Additionally, establishing a consistent bedtime routine can help your baby feel secure and settled, even if you're not always there to put them to bed.